We are so excited to have Mia Sheridan as our Guest Today! She is the author of Leo and soon to be released Leo's Chance. These books are fabulous and you will LOVE these books.....Check out the heart-wrenching EXCLUSIVE EXCERPT, DREAM CAST & GIVEAWAY for a SIGNED paperback of Leo's Chance and the opportunity to
win a $25 Gift Certificate!
READ BELOW - YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT!
win a $25 Gift Certificate!
READ BELOW - YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS IT!
LEO'S CHANCE EXCERPT
It takes me almost an hour to find Seth’s small metal marker, half covered with grass and leaves. I squat down and push the debris aside, reading the words, "Seth Michael McKenna, 4-7-86 to 7-27-03." No "beloved" or "our little boy," nothing to give any indication that he was anything to anyone. But he was someone to me. My throat locks up as I pluck another leaf off that has just floated down from the large oak nearby. I rest my elbows on my thighs and say out loud, "Hey buddy." I let the silence stretch for long minutes, almost expecting to hear his giggle, his sweet voice saying, "Weeeo."
"I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. I talk to you a lot, I have a feeling you hear me. But I should have come here. Seeing where you are, it just feels so… real, I guess." I stare down at his marker for several minutes before I go on.
"I'm so sorry, buddy. I hope wherever you are that you can find it in your heart to forgive me." I pause, gathering myself. "You must have wondered where I was, all those years. You must have wondered what you did wrong. All your life, you must have wondered what you did wrong. And I wasn't there to tell you that you did everything right. Buddy, with what you were given, you did everything right. And I never came back for you. And I have to live with that. But you had to live with that too, and it must have confused you and hurt you." Tears are sliding down my cheeks now, but I let them fall because Seth deserves each and every one of them. Fuck my pride. I sigh and collect myself a little, plucking at the grass. "Remember when dad came home that time rip roaring drunk and me and mom were so damn tense, walking on eggshells? And he turned away and you started mimicking him by teetering around and going squinty eyed?" I laugh out loud at the memory. "Mom thought you were just being you, she was too wrapped up in her own world to notice who you were. But I saw what you were doing and it cracked me up so much I started laughing out loud. Dad decked me because he thought I was making fun of him, which I was, actually. But, fuck, Seth, it was worth it because we were in on the joke together and that was fucking awesome. We connected and those were the moments I lived for with you. I wore that black eye around for two weeks, proudly. I hope you carried a few moments like that with you, too. I hope you know that I saw you. And I hope you know that I needed you too, buddy."
I sit plucking at the grass, letting the memories wash over me, letting the past in, despite the fact that it hurts. It hurts so damn bad.
"What was that stupid little song that you used to ask me for every night? Baa Baa Black Sheep? Remember that? I swear I sang that damn song 50,000 times." I chuckle but then I feel myself grimace with the hurt the memory brings. "I'd sing it 50,000 more, buddy, if I could just have you back. I hope you know that."
I pause for several minutes, picturing my little brother's face, his smile, hearing his voice in my head. Then I recite very, very quietly, "Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full. One for my master, one for my dame, and one for the little boy who lives down the lane. Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full. One for my master, one for my dame, and one for the little boy who lives down the lane."
I kneel down on the grass now and put my hands on the cold metal, tracing every letter of his name and the dates of his short life. "You mattered, Seth. In this world, you mattered. You mattered to me. You always will. I love you buddy. I want you to know that. You mattered." Then I stand up and I walk slowly back to my car.
"I’m sorry it took me so long to get here. I talk to you a lot, I have a feeling you hear me. But I should have come here. Seeing where you are, it just feels so… real, I guess." I stare down at his marker for several minutes before I go on.
"I'm so sorry, buddy. I hope wherever you are that you can find it in your heart to forgive me." I pause, gathering myself. "You must have wondered where I was, all those years. You must have wondered what you did wrong. All your life, you must have wondered what you did wrong. And I wasn't there to tell you that you did everything right. Buddy, with what you were given, you did everything right. And I never came back for you. And I have to live with that. But you had to live with that too, and it must have confused you and hurt you." Tears are sliding down my cheeks now, but I let them fall because Seth deserves each and every one of them. Fuck my pride. I sigh and collect myself a little, plucking at the grass. "Remember when dad came home that time rip roaring drunk and me and mom were so damn tense, walking on eggshells? And he turned away and you started mimicking him by teetering around and going squinty eyed?" I laugh out loud at the memory. "Mom thought you were just being you, she was too wrapped up in her own world to notice who you were. But I saw what you were doing and it cracked me up so much I started laughing out loud. Dad decked me because he thought I was making fun of him, which I was, actually. But, fuck, Seth, it was worth it because we were in on the joke together and that was fucking awesome. We connected and those were the moments I lived for with you. I wore that black eye around for two weeks, proudly. I hope you carried a few moments like that with you, too. I hope you know that I saw you. And I hope you know that I needed you too, buddy."
I sit plucking at the grass, letting the memories wash over me, letting the past in, despite the fact that it hurts. It hurts so damn bad.
"What was that stupid little song that you used to ask me for every night? Baa Baa Black Sheep? Remember that? I swear I sang that damn song 50,000 times." I chuckle but then I feel myself grimace with the hurt the memory brings. "I'd sing it 50,000 more, buddy, if I could just have you back. I hope you know that."
I pause for several minutes, picturing my little brother's face, his smile, hearing his voice in my head. Then I recite very, very quietly, "Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full. One for my master, one for my dame, and one for the little boy who lives down the lane. Baa, baa, black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full. One for my master, one for my dame, and one for the little boy who lives down the lane."
I kneel down on the grass now and put my hands on the cold metal, tracing every letter of his name and the dates of his short life. "You mattered, Seth. In this world, you mattered. You mattered to me. You always will. I love you buddy. I want you to know that. You mattered." Then I stand up and I walk slowly back to my car.
MEET THE CAST OF THE SIGNS OF LOVE SERIES
